CONSEJOS DE LA ABUELA FOR A BROKEN HEART!
I went to Zabumba this past Sunday night, a place where i frequent on a weekly basis…so as to brush up on my salsa skills ….And this one very attractive Cuban guy who i know from the scene, thought he was being witty when came up to me and said “Tienes que enamorarte” meaning “you have to fall in love”
i totally laughed it off, said my goodbyes, and drove home.
Now, i believe that God speaks to us in many ways, and on my drive home i thought about what this guy had said. Ofcourse he had only intended it to be a pick-up line but to me it was so much more.
I thought about his statement “You need to fall in love” and in that moment i realized that as much as i have tried to move on from my last relationship i really HAVENT!
I went to sleep that night and of course….who came to visit my dreams…..my ex!
I woke up the next morning in the WORST FUNK i have been in since my father past away, and i even felt a little guilty that i was somewhat more upset about my ex breaking up with me.
IS THIS NORMAL? WE BROKE UP APRIL OF LAST YEAR…THAT’S 1 YEAR AND 2 MONTHS!!!…SHOULD I HAVE MOVED ON ALREADY….?
I read somewhere that it takes about half the time you were with someone to get over them? So according to my calculations….we were together for 2 years shouldnt i be done MOURNING ALREADY????
And why is it soooooooo much easier for men to move on than it is for womyn…..?
Men can find someone else right away…for us womyn it takes so much longer.
I think it is because we as womyn get entered so we hold so much inside of us, whereas for men, all they do is enter and move on….you know?!?
Anyways….so I woke up in SUCH A FUNK the other day…that i did not do ANYTHING at all….just put on some Lila Downs (for those of you who dont know…Lila Downs is like the 21st Century Mexican Billy Holliday), sang along and cried all DAY….Pathetic? I KNOW!
But it’s OK…i want to put myself out like that to the world….afterall….i have a feeling that i am not the only one who’s been through something like this…..
Which is why i decided to post the advice that i received from two people in my life who i love and respect. That way…if you’re goin through it, or you’ve been through it…you can hopefully make use of this advice as i have….!
The first bit of advice came from a good friend of mine. He is happily married and has a beautiful family. In a message he wrote:
im sorry those dreams/feelings continue to occur. i always tell people that the best way to get over somebody is to find somebody else you really like. i know its a little easier for guys, because we can detach easier, but if you can find that guy (maybe you’ve found him) that can help distract you, you ‘ll be on your way. dont be afraid to do that. ?other than that, its tough. love is something you cant put a cast or band aid over. only time can heal. ?have you spoke to him or thought about calling him up? that may help to know that maybe you guys can be friends. maybe knowing that you can hear his voice, or get some good advice, or at least say hello to him when you see him out, will help. is that possible?
hope you feel better ?i’ve been there
The next bit of advice came from my very own Abuelita….all the way in Cuba…She went through much heartbreak in her life….but she is happily re-married to her soul mate….I had written her an email telling her how i was feeling and this is what she said:
lo mas importante que te quiero decir es que porfa, levanta el animo, recuerda que no hay hombre que valga la pena que estemos triztes, yo se que es imposible mandar en el corazon y en los sentimientos, por eso tenemos que luchar ferreamente para llevarlos al olvido, recuerda que tu y solo tu vales mil veces mas, asi que levanta tu ego y adelante, te dije una vez que eso crea heridas pero como todas, se cierran y solo nos queda un leve recuerdo que en ocasiones hasta no sabemos exactamente donde se encuentran, pero todo depende del tiempo y de la fuerza de voluntad.
Bueno mi niña, no te doy mas muela sobre esto pues se que saldras adelante aunque todavia te quedaran dias como este en que te sientas mal pero de seguro pasara, te quiere un monton, besote,